dee_natsuko78

TW: Racism; Depression; Suicidal Ideation

2018-08-07T19:27:36Z

So back in June, a thing happened on my Tumblr.
( cut for personal shit, racism, depression and suicidal ideation )

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Send Me Questions About My Work In Progress

2018-04-25T20:57:01Z

http://wordsnstuff.tumblr.com/post/173214514775/send-me-questions-about-my-work-in-progress

Reblogging in order to play.

My ACTIVE WiPs are (in order of current priority):-

(a) MCU/Avengers Clint/Tony; IronHawk

(b) MCU/Avengers Bruce/Tony; Science Boyfriends

(d) Original Fantasy Novel - Power Absolutes

(e) The Professionals - post Series 4/Season 5; Bodie/Doyle first time

(f) Stargate Atlantis - pre-McShep, Age Regression/Cloning, Original Pegasus Culture, Parent-Kid Fic

These are the ones I’ve worked on in the last 4 months, anyway. (The Pros one is related to the Not Fic I posted last week ago and the WiP on my old LJ Writing Blog.) One day I will focus on one work at a time, but today is not that day. :( At least I’m writing?

Comment with a letter (or letters) and up to ten numbers and I will attempt to answer.

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C&P/Crosspost - A Pros Thing (Reposted)

2018-04-24T19:32:01Z

Given the feedback on my last post, I'm going to copy/paste my Pros-relevant Tumblr posts to dW, crossposting to LJ. There will still be links to Tumblr if I'm borrowing a meme or replying to/reblogging another post, but this should make it easier for those of you not on Tumblr to respond to my Pros posts should you wish.

(Please let me know if you'd also like MCU, Cabin Pressure, BBC Sherlock, Stargate SG-1, SGA, writing or disability/mental health related posts crossposted. Any and all fic I post to Tumblr and - when I set the AO3 account I have an invite for - to AO3 [I'm trying to think of the right username] will be linked to/crossposted here, regardless of fandom.) All the really personal stuff about the UK and me will still be posted HERE not on Tumblr. I like F'lock and I'm afraid of Tumblr politics.

So here: So I’m supposed (for one definition of supposed) to be trying to write one of my longer fic for PicoWriMo. [Which is now over.]

But I dreamed about the Lads last night and had to get this out of my brain before my brain could fic.

So here, have 1300 words of un-edited, un-betaed Not Fic Bodie/Doyle (one-sided?) Doyle Introspection.

(Possible warning for period-appropriate attitudes to homo/bisexuality and period language. And swearing. Lots of swearing.)

( Read more... )

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Needy AF, I know. Sorry in advance.

2018-04-23T00:07:55Z

Okay so the Pros Thing I posted/linked here a few days ago...

Did no one read it?

Was it because it was posted to Tumblr?

Or was it just crap and OOC and thoughts without context are meaningless and no one had anything nice to say?

It's just I haven't writen anything for MONTHS with everything that went on over the end of last year and then the move.

(I'm still living in box-hell btw. and cannot find anything I own.)

I've been mostly on Tumblr when I have been online, for MCU and Cabin Pressure content, but I miss my Pros peeps.

However, I just can't keep up with three platforms. I didn't renew my paid membership on LJ when it exspired so I've now got ads and not the formatting I got with my paid a/c to contend with. But everyone now seems scattered across the three places of LJ, DW and Tumblr... and I just don't have the energy. Especially at the rate Tumblr content moves.

I don't know what to do. I have several Pros fics I WANT to finish, but I've got someone in Tumblr MCU-fandom actually *asking* me for fic based on my meta and headcanons. Which is nice, you know?

The thing is, Pros fandom has been there as long as I've been alive. I know there will still be a fandom next year.

I don't know about the MCU with the constant release of new content and how the fandom changes and the current dearth of fics for my favourite ships. Right now what I want to read is either fic that deals with the mess that was CACW (I don't see how they'll have TIME to actually truly DEAL WITH IT in Avengers: Infinity War, not with 19 named stars on the poster and creating new teams from the non-Avengers/Captain America/Iron Man films in the Universe) or fic that ignores everything that happened after The Avengers (2012) movie, especially Age of Ultron and Civil War. There's a lot of post-CACW fic being posted, but still not a lot for my favourite pairings.

So it's easier to find the wherewithal to keep working on my MCU fics, because I know people (well, two people, one for each of my main ships) want them, even with nothing to judge my writing by.

I kinda wonder whether I have anything to offer Pros fandom. And I looked it up the other day and my incomplete posting-as-I-write WiP (which isn't either of my unfinished Big Bangs) was posted in 2015. I keep losing time. And I seem constitutionally incapable of participating in multiple fandoms at once.

But on the other hand, I still *dream* about the Lads. But maybe I've lost their voices. Maybe I just have to come back in another two months and see where I am then?

Hope you are all keeping well. I will read all the posts I've missed and comment if I can find the energy. But not tonight, Josephine.

Dee Out.

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A Pros Thing

2018-04-18T13:21:26Z

This isn't a fic.

It's 1300 words of stream-of-consciousness one-sided/pre-slash Bodie/Doyle from Ray Doyle's POV

Posted to my Tumblr.

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I am not dead

2018-03-01T23:53:36Z

So. I screwed up with The Professionals Big Bang, I know, with the disappearing and all... but there were Reasons for my disappearance.

Things that have happened since July (I no longer remember the particular order):

- Back Flare Up;
- Depression Flare Up;
- My landlady died and her heirs gave me two months to vacate the place where I'd been living for nine years;
- Three family friends died;
- Another family friend got her third cancer diagnosis;
- My Dad had a bowel cancer investigation (it was clear, but since his mother died from bowel cancer and his youngest brother has a colostomy bag due to bowel cancer, it was more than a tad stressful for all of us);
- My Dad (who is 81) had a bad fall;
- I had difficulties finding a new home that met my accessibility needs;
- I had to move back in with my parents for a bit;
- Then I had to actually move (at the beginning of February);
- My computer stopped being able to access the internet due to an old Operating System (I've just bought a new one) and I couldn't let anyone know that I couldn't do the Big Bang ...

It's been a stressful six months. Neither my mental nor my physical health problems respond well to stress. I've been pretty much in survival mode. Sorry for letting people down.

I'm now on Tumblr as icallmyselfdee .

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Question for Pros Fen (and anyone who has received art in a BB, I guess)

2017-05-24T20:36:35Z

Given my drawing and painting abilities (INability?) as seen on LiveJournal and DeviantArt does ANYONE think I have enough skill to volunteer as a BB Artist?

Unlike writing, since my drawings (graphite or coloured pencil) are A5 or A4, they take a single (albeit sometimes long enough to leave me immobile after) session. Watercolours, with drying time, sometimes take two sessions, sometimes one.

Even if I did a watercolour cover image and a couple of drawings, it's not the same time/confidence committment as writing, finishing and editing a fic. I *could* do it, physically.

The question is: am I good enough?

I no longer ask even good friends if they'd like an illustration for their fic (though I may try for my own sake, rather than theirs) because when I *have* in the past, people either wanted an illustration of a scene beyond my powers (I can either do a wide-scale scene OR a portrait, not a portrait that fits in a wide-scale scene) or even - without so much as a "thank you" - got, "that wasn't how it looked inside my head". It probably wasn't how it looked inside mine, either, mate. i never claimed to be a professional quality illustrator/cover-artist.

Given ALL THAT... but given that I feel as if I'm kind of neglecting Pros fandom given I have pulled out of the BB TWICE now and posted two parts of a fic I *still* haven't finished here way back in 2015 and I've made several MCU relevant posts recently... I'd love to DO SOMETHING.

So, here's the question: AM I A GOOD ENOUGH ARTIST TO VOLUNTEER AS A BB ARTIST???

It's a genuine question. Most of my "art" posts get very few responses - if that's because you think I'm too crap to share, PLEASE, just tell me that. (And I'll stop sharing to LJ and DW and go back to DA.) I honestly want to know.

Looking at my pics, would you feel screwed if THAT'S what you got from you BB artist? Because I have looked at BBs, in multiple fandoms, in the past and thought, "That writer deserved better art". I'd hae like the devil anyone, least of all any writer I was paired with, to think/feel THAT.

Help? Advise me? Tell me to bugger off? All honest responses welcome.

(Crossposted via dee_natsuko78 on DW)

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In the country...

2017-04-18T10:58:27Z

So, last night splix apparantly watched Trainspotting 2 and promptly declared it '90s night.

Thus inspired, I spent last night listening to Blur, Travis and Pulp. :D

I've had a soft spot for Blur since the Parklife album: Damon Albarn owned a dog he used to race at Walthamstow Greyhound Stadium and my Dad used to go to the 'Stow two or three times a week back in the '90s. And on the back cover, he's visible in the crowd behind the band.

And since Dad had a heart attack followed by a stress-induced nervous breakdown and had to give up work back in 1992, Country House always spoke to me (when it came out, Dad *was*, "knocking back Prozac"). I was definitely a Blur-fan in the Blur vs Oasis battles.

Only, who d'you think those lyrics make me think about *now*? ("I'm a professional cynic, but my heart's not in it/ I'm paying the price of living life at the limit")

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